Today I took my son to the indoor waterpark for a day of fun with his cousins. Normally I would think about putting on a bathing suit and get worried about my butt looking too big or something. This time I was worried my "stripper boobs" would not stay put in my bathing suit!
Here is the deal about tissue expanders. They are completely ugly and unnatural looking. They look like two coconuts under your skin. They also are not close together like regular breasts. They sit more towards the arm pits and sit further apart than normal breasts. The tissue expanders when filled are also really hard and don't move like normal implants. So needless to say getting into a bikini was causing me some serious anxiety!
Earlier this week I went shopping for bathing suits and it was ugly! Lord I could not find anything that would cover up enough of the ugly tissue expanders that I could wear in public. After I went shopping I asked my husband "what am I going to do?" He simply said "don't worry about it. People will just think you just got a really bad boob job or you are a stripper". Well that is exactly the message I was hoping to send at the family water park....NOT! You gotta love a man's perspective though. I admit it made me laugh a bit!
I searched through my closet and tried on every bathing suit I had from before surgery but my new breasts are so much bigger. I took the pads out from the suits and I actually found one that fit me better than anything I tried on while shopping for a bathing suit. What a relief!
I did wear my suit today but I felt very nervous at first. Since having surgery I don't really have feeling in my chest so if my bathing suit moves around from being in the water, I don't necessarily feel it or know that I need to straighten out my bathing suit. I felt very worried about this but to my surprise I had no issues and didn't even flash anyone (which is a good thing since it is a family waterpark!).
I also was worried that I would just look funny but I quickly got over that. As I looked around I checked out all the other women's racks...yes, I did just say that. I normally do not check out other women's boobs, but for now hair and boobs are my obsession! After I looked around I quickly noticed that most women have saggy, flat, old lady boobs. Mine were kind of saggy too before surgery. This quickly made me feel better and I didn't worry about it anymore. Then I just had a fun time with my son with boobs out of mind!
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